Dean

Kinda late with this...

Dean turned 3 months old on March 3rd!!

He is growing fast!

I've had to put away all newborn clothing and even a few 3 month. We also moved up to size 2 diapers. Dean eats approximately 3 oz every 3 hours. I've been able to keep up the pumping and have some in storage so that he eats only breast milk. (I have since cut way back on pumping, started incorporating formula and I believe tonight was the last pump session. I hope to blog more about that! It was quite a journey!)

Sean and Kayla have been great with him. Kayla helps by giving him his pacifier or bringing me diapers and wipes. Sean will sporadically take an interest in him and pet his head or kiss him. Sometimes saying "oh, baby Dean is crying mommy. He's hungry." And in the car Sean stares right at Dean and will notify me when Dean is crying. I'll give Dean a pacifier and Sean will say "baby Dean stopped crying!" Silly boy.

All 3 of our munchkins

Handsome Mr. Fox

 Dean started smiling and possibly trying to mimic faces we make. Thomas is good at getting a smile out of him. He's a cute little toot and has brought a lot of joy into our lives.

He also is sometimes difficult to read. Are you hungry? But you just ate? Gas? No burps. Let me try food. Nope. Oh, you just want to be held? Oh I know, wet diaper. No. Here's your paci. Sometimes he'll fall asleep after fussing and I'll have no idea what I did "right". But the longer he is around the better I get to know him :)

 Dressed up

Of course we had to carry on the tradition of taking a picture of our baby with a Route 44 Sonic cup.

I somehow caught this cute smirk. He must had been mid smile-grunt.

Dean is 2 months

    Deany boy is nearly 2 months old! He is currently in my arms, sucking away at his paci cause this is the I-won't-lay-down-to-sleep time period.

Life is CRAZY (all caps needed). Thomas has returned to schooling, a masters program this time. And although he is not taking that many hours it is requiring mucho time. It was so, so nice having him available these past months during my bed rest days at home, my bed rest hospital days, Dean's NICU stay and Dean's first weeks home. But alas the semester has started. Reality has hit hard.
    Three kids are hard. But there are bursts of cuteness, grace, sweetness, rest and joy amongst the chaos! Postpartum emotions are a doozy! During the course of the day I will feel highs of "I got this, I'm a rockstar" and lows of "it's never going to end! I can't do all this!

Kayla is full on toddler exploration mode these days. She is an 18month old bright eyed, adventurous yet highly dependent little gal. She probably thinks her name is "Kaylanono". And my IG feed will clue you into her constant "adventures".

 Thomas has gone back to school. He and I both quit our jobs Spring '11. He to peruse a different career that required a different major. And I quit to stay home with kids, at that time I was 5 months pregnant with Kayla. When we found out I was pregnant with Dean he was wrapping up the Spring '12 semester. He took classes during the summer sessions but we decided to take a break during the fall because if Dean were to arrive early like Sean and Kayla did he would have been here early Nov. Like I've said before Thomas' availability has been a blessing at this time in our lives. But he is now back in school pursuing his Masters degree. He is away from the house quite a bit studying, writing or at class. Which leaves me with the kids a lot. They are all so dependent on me it's kind of exhausting. But hey that is what a mom is for!
    This season of life is so up and down, so unpredictable, so fast moving. I sometimes tell myself that it'll get easier. Even friends with young children agree. Surely it'll get easier as they grow. But I need not wish for "easier" days, or look to the future while letting the present days slip by.
There will always be difficult days, no matter their age. I'm sure the stress of having three kids in school is much greater than having three little ones at home.
But obviously we are 'making it.' No one has been shipped off to the...what is it...funny farm? It is only by God's grace that we make it through the day. I make many mistakes everyday. Not showing love, respect or grace to my kids and husband. Being selfish and thinking I deserve this or that. I fall so short of His perfection. I'm unbelievable thankful for Christ's love that even in our sin he loves us and died for us so we could be spared the wrath of God. His mercies are new every morning.

Dean: 1 month

    Baby Dean tuned 1 month old on Jan 3, 2013!

    His days are spent in the glider in the living room and nights upstairs in our room in a pack n play. The glider (soothing motions by Fisher Price) has been used by all 3 kiddos. Almost everyone that sees it says "I want one for myself!"
    He is at the point where he doesn't fall asleep quite as easily as he did his first weeks. He seems to sleep better during the day meaning he doesn't fuss and grunt as much as he does at night. My theory; I just don't notice his noises during the day! And at night all I want is sleep so every little grunt and squeak is magnified. Also, I'm sure he is more comfortable in the cozy inclined glider than the flat pack n play. I know he will adjust in time. Dean grunts just as his siblings did. With Kayla we teased that she was the little gremlin in the corner. But at night when swaddled he seemed to grunt and fuss until his arms were freed. Sean and Kayla did the same. So I've started to leave his arms unwrapped. He still grunts some but not as much.
    Poor third baby doesn't get held nearly as much attention as he should. There is much to do around here. As soon as I pick Dean up somebody wants a cup, needs to potty, or slaps his sister. I did wear him in the Moby wrap for a bit one day and I may try that more. Advice I received when pregnant with Kayla was to favor the older child when both were needing your attention. The baby doesn't notice you favoring the sibling but the older child will notice if you choose baby over them. But I do my best to hold him when I can. Like right now! Kayla is napping and Sean is content playing with trains.
    He is still wearing a newborn size diaper. I probably would go up to a 1 but we still have an entire box to go through! He is still wearing newborn size clothes. Although within a few days I'm sure we will need to bump up to 3 month. He eats every three hours and sometime goes 4 hrs at night. We did wake him to feed every three hours round the clock but since he's nearing his due date we are letting him sleep how ever long he wants during night. Dean takes a pacifier slightly better than Sean and Kayla did. He does drop it sometimes and cry so I try not to give it to him too much. Kayla is a little momma and much more helpful than Sean was when Kayla was a newborn. Sean was 23 months old when she came home and Kayla is 18 months old now! Must be a girl thing wanting to help so much.
Both Sean and Kayla are adjusting well. It's quite difficult at times because Sean and Kayla are still so dependent on me for most things. But we get by!

Dean at 7 weeks

Dean turned 7 weeks old on January 3rd

wow! Tiny Dean makes baby Kayla look so grown up!

And baby makes 3...kids that is.

    While pregnant with Kayla I had a reoccurring feeling that someone was missing from our family. When heading out of the house, leaving church or tromping through Target I was always looking for another head to count. I had to remind myself that the other head I was looking for was still in my belly! I figured my subconscious was just preparing for another little one running around. But even after Kayla's arrival I still had that distinct feeling that there was someone missing. I bet you know what I'm getting at.
    I haven't had that feeling of someone missing since Dean was born. When doing that mental sweep us moms do I know I'm accountable for three little bodies.
Sometimes I shake my head in disbelief. I have three children?! When did this happen? Weren't we just two love puppies in college?! Time flies!
I am so so grateful. So blessed.
My heart is full! And so is our house, my lap and our car!! I can't say that means we are done having children. To be honest all three pregnancies weren't the most fun. I think my body in done. There were definitely joyous times but the not so fun times were there also. So if birthing three children is all God wants of me that's great! But if he says we are having more we will be faithful in that too. Adoption is also something Thomas and I are excited about.
Raising children gives us a wonderful depiction of God's unfailing love for us! We see how short we fall in loving our children and to know He loves us perfectly is humbling.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. ~ Psalm 127:3-5

Baby Dean Homecoming

    Dean came home after his 11 day stay in the NICU. No heart monitor, no meds; just a tiny newborn was welcomed into our home on December 14.
    It was bitter-sweet walking out of the NICU for the last time. Many of the nurses took care of all three of our babies. They are very sweet and I'm so thankful that they care so much for their NICU kids. It's hard leaving your newborn in the care of others but the NICU nurses convey their love of babies well and make it a tad easier to walk away.
Dean has been home 5 days (well more than that b/c I 've been writing this post over the course of several days) and we are adjusting. Most my time is spent feeding him. I nurse him then follow up with a bottle then pump. Even with Thomas' help (by giving Dean a bottle) it's an hour long process. And he eats every three hours so you can see how I feel like all my time is spent feeding him! In the NICU he was only allowed 30min to eat whether it was all bottle feeding or bottle and nursing. He's so small he needs to conserve calories so they kept feedings to 30min. So we generally do the same here at home. Also, we wake him to make sure he eats every 3 hrs.
He had an appointment last Monday and weighed in at 6lbs 12ozs.
We are doing well and staying put in our house to avoid exposure to germs!

Dean's NICU Stay

Dean ended up only staying in the NICU for 11 days. He initially had breathing help as well as treatment to get his bilirubin levels up. He was a baby glow-worm. A family friend, Lydia, gifted Dean a stuffed fox because I considered naming him Fox. Being born at 35 weeks make his stay a long shorter!

Big brother Sean got to visit

 

I brought in pictures of Sean and Kayla for the nurses.

Baby Fox

Baby Dean Has Arrived

We made it to 35 weeks!

December 3rd - 6lbs 4oz!!

He is doing very well. He just needs to learn to eat and gain weight! He should be home in no time :)

Still here..

    I'm still here at the hospital on bed-rest. My OB came by just moments ago. No contractions, lots of baby movement, vitals good. She said she'd see me tomorrow morning.
I've been watching a lot of HGTV and an occasional football game. There is a lot of junk on TV these days! I'm a really good bed-rest patient! Not too restless, but I know I'll be glad to be back home eventually.
    Thomas and Sean headed out to my in-law's land with his family yesterday and spent the night out there. I'm sure Sean had lots of fun with his cousins.
    Today Baylor is playing Tech so hopefully Thomas and I can watch the game together here.
Our dear friend Brandi is rapidly declining in health. We are still persistently praying for miraculous healing. Please join me in crying out for her healing.

33 weeks with Baby No.3

    Wednesday morning I had my 33week appointment. I'm so grateful I've made it this far! Upon examination my doc found I was dilated to 2-3 cm and 50% effaced. She initially said go back home and continue strict bed rest. I asked why I was being sent home even with being dilated, because with Kayla I was dialed a little, not feeling contractions but was sent straight to L&D. She said I was primarily sent to L&D so I could get a steroid shot to progress baby's lung development. But with this baby I already had that shot. Thhheeeennn, my doctor started to think....she decided it'd be best to monitor me over night in the hospital. Not in L&D but just on the floor (postpartum side). So, to the hospital I went. I didn't get into a gown, didn't get any monitors hooked up, just sat in bed and watched TV.
    The nurses took my vitals every few hours and also checked baby fox's heart rate. My friend Jill visited and brought me a vanilla DP and fried pickles! Thankful for friends treating me and taking time to say hi! Thomas spent the night while my mom stayed home with the kids. I'm thankful she has these days off to help us out.
This morning (Thursday) Dr. W came in and asked if I had been having any contractions.
Nope, I said.
She told me to be honest and asked if I was getting more bed rest here than at home.
Yes, I said.
She is having me stay here.... through the weekend. Definitely not what I want but is probably what I need, what baby needs. I can stay more motionless here and keep pressure off cervix. And I'm obviously super close to L&D. I could tell she felt bad but knew it was best. Hey she's here on Thanksgiving too! Thankful for medical staff working today!
As soon as she left the room I cried. Mostly because the thought of staying here away from Sean and Kayla made me sad. They can come visit but a 3 yr old and 15mth old don't last long in such a confined space. Thomas hugged me and said we can bring kids up here. So, I had my pity party and felt bad for myself. Then quickly remembered there are people in the hospital for months on end away from their family and they're in pain! I'm not in pain. Then I felt bad for not visiting my dad more when he was in the hospital with cancer and he was in the hospital a lot. And I remembered I am not doing this (bed-rest) for myself but for baby Fox. As my friend Allison pointed out every day in the womb buys a few days out of NICU, and saves $$ too. Thankful for encouraging friends that love me!
And I remembered my friend Brandi whose health is rapidly declining due to brain cancer. And Mary who is also in pain with pancreatic cancer. My "suffering" is not suffering at all. Thankful I can cry out to the Creator for healing in these women's lives.
I honestly don't care that it's Thanksgiving. I mean it doesn't bother me being here on turkey day. Thomas, my mom and kids will come visit me soon. Maybe we will get turkey from cafeteria, maybe they can get food from Cracker Barrel or Golden Corral. It's whatever. Today isn't about food.
So that's what's going on now.
Most thankful for Jesus Christ. His life, death and resurrection. The freedom to worship him and the community of believers he brings together.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Dad took Sean and Kayla to the suspension bridge

Kayla with the keys

Sean and Kayla visiting with smiles

chaotic little visitors

Brainstorming baby names

one more pregnancy update photo, probably the last!