Dean is 2 months

    Deany boy is nearly 2 months old! He is currently in my arms, sucking away at his paci cause this is the I-won't-lay-down-to-sleep time period.

Life is CRAZY (all caps needed). Thomas has returned to schooling, a masters program this time. And although he is not taking that many hours it is requiring mucho time. It was so, so nice having him available these past months during my bed rest days at home, my bed rest hospital days, Dean's NICU stay and Dean's first weeks home. But alas the semester has started. Reality has hit hard.
    Three kids are hard. But there are bursts of cuteness, grace, sweetness, rest and joy amongst the chaos! Postpartum emotions are a doozy! During the course of the day I will feel highs of "I got this, I'm a rockstar" and lows of "it's never going to end! I can't do all this!

Kayla is full on toddler exploration mode these days. She is an 18month old bright eyed, adventurous yet highly dependent little gal. She probably thinks her name is "Kaylanono". And my IG feed will clue you into her constant "adventures".

 Thomas has gone back to school. He and I both quit our jobs Spring '11. He to peruse a different career that required a different major. And I quit to stay home with kids, at that time I was 5 months pregnant with Kayla. When we found out I was pregnant with Dean he was wrapping up the Spring '12 semester. He took classes during the summer sessions but we decided to take a break during the fall because if Dean were to arrive early like Sean and Kayla did he would have been here early Nov. Like I've said before Thomas' availability has been a blessing at this time in our lives. But he is now back in school pursuing his Masters degree. He is away from the house quite a bit studying, writing or at class. Which leaves me with the kids a lot. They are all so dependent on me it's kind of exhausting. But hey that is what a mom is for!
    This season of life is so up and down, so unpredictable, so fast moving. I sometimes tell myself that it'll get easier. Even friends with young children agree. Surely it'll get easier as they grow. But I need not wish for "easier" days, or look to the future while letting the present days slip by.
There will always be difficult days, no matter their age. I'm sure the stress of having three kids in school is much greater than having three little ones at home.
But obviously we are 'making it.' No one has been shipped off to the...what is it...funny farm? It is only by God's grace that we make it through the day. I make many mistakes everyday. Not showing love, respect or grace to my kids and husband. Being selfish and thinking I deserve this or that. I fall so short of His perfection. I'm unbelievable thankful for Christ's love that even in our sin he loves us and died for us so we could be spared the wrath of God. His mercies are new every morning.